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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24922366">How Do You Sleep?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/happhapeo/pseuds/happhapeo'>happhapeo</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Insomnia, M/M, Mark Lee (NCT) Needs a Hug, Song: How Do You Sleep? (Sam Smith)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 05:15:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,499</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24922366</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/happhapeo/pseuds/happhapeo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"How do you sleep?" </p><p>"What?"</p><p>-or- </p><p>An insomniac's guide to finding love.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Lee Taeyong</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>81</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Doyoung had lost count when the car lights illuminated the corner of his room. </p><p>Fuck counting sheeps. This isn't working.</p><p>He patted around until he found his phone, which shone the pathetic time of 3:45 in the morning. </p><p>Doyoung had spent the past 6 hours attempting to sleep. He tried everything from the "peaceful" sounds of harsh rain to those bullshit sleep meditation apps. </p><p>After a little longer of pitying himself for being unable to perform a basic human function, he shuffled to his kitchen. Maybe a glass of warm milk would do the trick?</p><p>Unfortunately, the only things in his fridge were a can of reddi whip and his roommate's mini bottles of wine. </p><p>It was the choice between unwanted social interaction or listening to legitimate tornadoes. Two of his greatest fears.</p><p>Ultimately, he set out into the cold morning after leaving a note for his roommate when he wakes up. </p><p>"Yo! Doyoung, what's up man?" The cheery sales clerk said.</p><p>"Hi Mark," Doyoung said quietly, before shuffling into one of the aisles.</p><p>Mark was a very confusing person. Doyoung couldn't understand how one could be so happy at 3 in the morning, nor why Mark had this job. His parents were paying for his college tuition. </p><p>When Doyoung put his items on the counter, Mark's eyes suddenly lit up like a small child's. </p><p>"Hyung! Do you wanna come to my friend's party with me?"</p><p>"Uh...um," Doyoung wasn't prepared for this. What was he supposed to do? He definitely didn't want to go to a party, but it would be incredibly awkward between him and Ma-</p><p>"Why are you buying this?" Mark said as he stared blankly at the sleeping pills Doyoung had put on the counter.</p><p>Mark looked at him with an incredibly sad face. He looked like he was about to cry when he asked, "Hyung... is everything okay?" </p><p>Doyoung's eyes grew big with realization. "Oh my god, I'm fine! Please don't cry! I just couldn't sleep cause there's a busy road by my dorm!" </p><p>"Oh... well still.. do you really have to get these?" Mark gripped the pills tightly. </p><p>"No, if it really upsets you, I won't get them." </p><p>"Good!" Mark smiled brightly, then threw them somewhere past Doyoung and into aisle 4.</p><p>"I'll clean that up later, now are you gonna go to the party with me?" </p><p>"Uh.. I guess so?"</p><p>"Great! I'll pick you up on Tuesday at 8!" </p><p>What the hell was that?</p><p>Doyoung sat on the semi-damp park bench, trying to process that chaotic interaction. </p><p>He'd never seen Mark so sad, or anything that wasn't happy. Seeing Mark sad made Doyoung feel uneasy. </p><p>"Hey, are you okay?"</p><p>Doyoung suddenly snapped his head to look at this person, who had bright blue hair and was dripping sweat. </p><p>"Yeah, I'm okay, are you?" Doyoung moved over a bit to let the stranger sit with him.</p><p>"Yeah, just enjoying a run." He pat the sweat on his face with his t-shirt.</p><p>"At 4:38 in the morning? Sounds strange," Doyoung dug through his bag and pulled out two iced coffees, handing one to the runner. The store ran out of almond milk.</p><p>"Well it's much more strange to see someone staring at their laptop with a blank face," He took a sip before saying, "I'm Taeyong by the way."</p><p>"I'm Doyoung, and why were you staring at me anyways?" He asked with a raised brow.</p><p>Taeyong choked a bit on his drink. "Who said I was staring at you?" </p><p>"Relax, I'm just joking," Doyoung paused for a moment before asking, "How do you sleep?" </p><p>"What?"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Yay! My first story on here (which probably means a lot of trial and error)! Let's see where this goes.</p><p>Have a nice day :]</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"What?"</p><p>"That sounds so creepy! I'm sorry," Doyoung's face suddenly became very red.</p><p>He put his face in his hands. Taeyong, who could've actually been his friend, must never want to talk to him again. He was very much regretting not taking the tornado noises.</p><p>Suddenly, a very cute giggle broke his thoughts. Taeyong was laughing? More importantly, at him?</p><p>"Sorry, your embarrassed face is really adorable!" Taeyong smiled warmly.</p><p>That made Doyoung even redder for some reason.</p><p>-zz...z..-</p><p>"You never explained your question," They were now walking back to campus. </p><p>"Oh... that, yeah so basically I have a really difficult time sleeping," Doyoung cringed a little whilst remembering his odd question.</p><p>"Do you know if you have insomnia?" Taeyong asked, his eyes filled with concern.</p><p>"I don't know.. maybe? I really didn't think it was that serious." Doyoung suddenly felt very abnormal. Isn't lack of sleep a very common thing?</p><p>"Have you tried things to help you sleep?" Taeyong ran a hand through his slightly sweaty hair.</p><p>"I really have! I tried white noise, shitty sleep meditation, and I actually left my house for some milk, but obviously that didn't happen," Doyoung sighed, "I was gonna get sleep medication, but my friend was against it."</p><p>"Yeah, sleep meds are scary," Taeyong fiddled with his now empty coffee, "I'm sorry you have to deal with that."</p><p>Doyoung felt like a burden all of the sudden, so he said, "It's okay, I don't want you to worry about me." </p><p>He really did appreciate Taeyong's concern, but he didn't want to burden him. Maybe that's why he didn't tell him about how long it's been since he last slept. </p><p>It wasn't that big of a deal right? It would just cause more worry, which is the last thing Doyoung wanted. Plus, they'll probably never talk to each other again.</p><p>"Doyoung?" </p><p>"Huh?" He didn't realize how far they'd walked. Suddenly they had to part ways.</p><p>"Lost in thought?" Taeyong chuckled, " I guess I have to go now." </p><p>"Yeah," Doyoung said quietly.</p><p>"Are you sure you're okay?" Taeyong's brows raised a little.</p><p>Doyoung nodded. He really wasn't. His head was spinning, and he felt like he was on a roller coaster.</p><p>"Okay.. uh.. see you around," Taeyong turned and started walking off.</p><p>Doyoung turned to walk to his dorm, but suddenly he was seeing so many sidewalks, all moving and overlapping like a horrible motion bookmark. </p><p>His legs gave out under him, and he hit the ground with a yelp. The last thing he heard was footsteps walking towards him.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Another chapter today, because I'm feeling very anxious before sleeping, funnily enough. </p><p>Also, yes, I did make my time lapse look like the sleeping symbol (zz..), isn't it cute?</p><p>Get some rest everyone!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The last thing he heard was footsteps walking towards him.</p><p>"Doyoung!" Taeyong grabbed his arm and shook him gently. </p><p>Taeyong didn't know what to do. What can he do? He doesn't know CPR, does he need CPR?! He can't do that! </p><p>Wait. Freaking out wasn't going to save Doyoung. </p><p>Taeyong pulled one of Doyoung's arms towards him and pressed his index and middle fingers to Doyoung's wrist. He felt his heartbeat. It was.. slow?</p><p>Shit, Taeyong had no idea what that meant. He looped Doyoung's arms around his neck and put an arm under his knees and the other under his back before standing up. </p><p>Who on campus knew anything about medical care? </p><p>Taeyong suddenly felt like an idiot and probably would've facepalmed if he wasn't holding his friend. </p><p>The campus had a nurse!</p><p>-zz...z...z-</p><p>By the time Doyoung was awake, he knew exactly where he was. </p><p>The all familiar pale yellow walls of the nurse's room were now painted with the faint orange light of the setting sun. </p><p>Shit. How did he get here? Who brought him here?</p><p>It took almost all of Doyoung's energy to sit up, and when he did, he saw the all familiar scene.</p><p>His roommate, Johnny, who was laying across the vistor's chair, on his phone, probably trying to beat a candy crush level.</p><p>Johnny had been Doyoung's roommate since last year, as they were both freshmen at the time. Doyoung didn't know how the system matched them up, as they were almost entirely opposites. Johnny was very extroverted and optimistic, and Doyoung was, well, not. Now that he thought about it, it was much like a cat and dog sort of relationship. </p><p>Thinking about it now, Doyoung realized just how many times Johnny had been there for him when these things had happened. He needed to thank him.</p><p>"Hey," Johnny turned now to sit and face him, "How you feeling bud?" Johnny smiled a bit.</p><p>"Fine now," Doyoung said hoarsely, "Thanks for coming."</p><p>Johnny stood up and stretched, "What kinda friend would I be if I didn't come? Now scoot over, I'm cold."</p><p>Doyoung made room for his lanky roommate. The two pulled the blanket over their legs.</p><p>"I almost forgot!" Johnny leaned over to the side table, nearly falling off the squeaky patient bed, and grabbed a bag full of Chinese takeout.</p><p>Doyoung smiled brightly. Sure, there were a lot of problems Doyoung had to deal with, but he was glad he could avoid thinking about it for now by stuffing his face with lo mein. </p><p>Minutes later, the two were already eating, passing a few cartons every now and then, but it was for the most part peaceful.</p><p>Until a very bright-haired runner stormed into the room.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>-Taeyong's Tips- </p><p>Today's tip for sleeping well at night is using a weighted blanket! Studies show that weighted blankets may lower anxiety levels and is great for people who move around a lot while sleeping. It also is said to feel like a hug (as a person who uses one, I can say it does)!</p><p>Get some rest everyone!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>-WARNING-</p>
<p>Panic attack in this chapter! If reading that is triggering, I put section breaks so you can skip it. </p>
<p>Okay, enjoy now!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Until a very bright-haired runner stormed into the room.</p>
<p>"Oh my go-" Taeyong paused for a second. Probably to take in his friend and a random person snuggled up together and eating. </p>
<p>Johnny loudly slurped up his noodles before saying, "I'm going to go get some drinks from the soda machine," and walked out into the hallway.</p>
<p>"Okay, that was really weird. But I heard you woke up and ran as fast as I could!" Taeyong suddenly walked over and pulled Doyoung into a hug.</p>
<p>Doyoung felt like he could melt. Literally melt, out of the runner's warm embrace and onto the linoleum floor.</p>
<p>Instead, he just said, "You didn't have to do that."</p>
<p>"Are you kidding? You were out for a whole day! I was so worried!" Taeyong shook Doyoung by his arms lightly.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry," He lowered his head, "I don't want you worried."</p>
<p>Taeyong's grip loosened a bit. "It's okay, I just want you to be honest with me. How long had it been since you last slept before you passed out?" </p>
<p>This is when melting didn't sound so bad. Doyoung really didn't want to have this conversation, especially with someone he barely knows. He couldn't even look up while he whispered, "3 days."</p>
<p>"What? 3 days! What the hell? How can you go that long without sleep?" Taeyong was even more worried now, pacing around the room and running his a hand through his hair.</p>
<p>"I- I don't know," Doyoung felt awful. Curse his stupid body, it was just causing more trouble.</p>
<p>-zz...z.stop...z... here...zz-</p>
<p>He felt like he was sinking, like everything suddenly became too much. Suddenly the lights were too bright, and Taeyong was no longer speaking softly but screaming at Doyoung. He covered his ears and curled into a ball on the bed, which felt like a sinking life boat. </p>
<p>He could no longer move. His lungs were in pain, trying to get as much oxygen as possible. It was useless. He could no longer think of any logical thought just watch as the world came in bright blurs and colors. </p>
<p>Focus. That's what he needed to do. He needed to focus. Through a desperate attempt, he grabbed onto something in front of him, and in hopes of survival, shoved it to the floor. </p>
<p>Doyoung's world was now fading in and out with every beat of his heart, which now pounded in his ears. He didn't know what was happening, until he suddenly felt something warm wrap around him. </p>
<p>Taeyong. It was Taeyong. He gripped him tightly, like if he didn't he'd float away. Doyoung didn't know what would happen if he let go, just that Taeyong was keeping him in this room.</p>
<p>"Breathe Doyoung," Taeyong whispered. </p>
<p>He did, he breathed. He followed Taeyong's words: breathe in and out, over and over. </p>
<p>-zz...z..it's okay..z..z.-</p>
<p>Suddenly, he was back in the nurse's room, and everything came to him so quickly. </p>
<p>Doyoung was sitting on Taeyong's lap, legs wrapped around the other's torso, tears soaking the runner's shirt.</p>
<p>Taeyong held him tightly. "It's okay. You're okay."</p>
<p>Doyoung quickly moved off Taeyong's lap. "That was so scary. I can't even think about it right now."</p>
<p>"Then don't think about it. Just sit tight right now. I'm going to go talk to the nurse," Taeyong got up and walked out.</p>
<p>Johnny walked back in a few seconds later. "Hey man. I got you some ginger ale. You doing oka- The dumplings! No, not the dumplings!" </p>
<p>Doyoung looked at what Johnny was pointing at on the floor.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This chapter was really intense, huh? I'm sorry that it's a little short, writing a panic attack was very difficult and just slightly triggering. Nonetheless, I hope you enjoyed reading!</p>
<p>Have a nice day :]</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Doyoung looked at what Johnny was pointing at on the floor. </p><p>The dumplings, one of Johnny's favorite foods, were now a soggy pile on the floor. </p><p>"Huh, don't know how that happened," Doyoung obviously did, but the idea of an angry Johnny was both terrifying and tiresome.</p><p>He could see that Johnny didn't believe him, but he ultimately spared him.</p><p>-zz....z...z...-</p><p>The second Taeyong was no longer near Doyoung's room, he sunk to the floor. He hugged his legs and let out all the things he was feeling in that room.</p><p>If Taeyong was being honest, he had no idea what that was. He only knew that he never wanted Doyoung to experience it ever again. </p><p>"Excuse me, but are you okay?" Taeyong felt a hand on his shoulder.</p><p>He looked up and saw a fairly attractive dude, who had a very concerned face.</p><p>"Um, yeah. It's just that my friend is going through a lot, and I just really want to help him get better," Taeyong sighed.</p><p>The stranger now slid down beside him. "Yeah, I get it. My brother, he has a lot of pain and he... doesn't handle it well."</p><p>Taeyong didn't really get what he meant by that, and kinda didn't want to know, so instead he introduced himself. "It's nice that you're so caring for your brother. I'm Taeyong, by the way."</p><p>The stranger hesitated for a second, before saying, "I'm Jaehyun."</p><p>They shook hands, and then Taeyong went to go find the nurse. </p><p>-z..zz...z...zz...-</p><p>Around a half hour later, Taeyong was now standing in Doyoung's livingroom. </p><p>It felt a little odd. Sure, he had visited many friend's dorms, but it felt like he was entering a sacred space. </p><p>Doyoung was showering, as he apparently "hated the feeling of hospital germs", leaving Taeyong to explore. </p><p>The room was set up like every other dorm living room, only a few colorful blankets and pillows to show any sign of life. There was also another thing. The bookshelf that was in every dorm (almost always empty) was neatly filled with books that were color-coded. </p><p>Taeyong ran his fingers along them, noting a few as he went. Books on philosophy, some classics, mysteries. They had so many books, and they were so diverse. Taeyong paused when he got to the second shelf.</p><p>"Ah, I see you're found the bookshelf," Taeyong nearly dropped the book in his hand, but quickly relaxed when he turned and saw Johnny. </p><p>"It's just me. Don't worry," Johnny chuckled.</p><p>"How many books are there?" Taeyong quickly put the book back where it was.</p><p>"I have no idea. These are all Doyoung's. He loves literature. I, on the other hand, could care less for reading." Johnny made a little face at the idea of reading.</p><p>He noticed Taeyong's lack of response, and looked to see Taeyong's hand lingering on a book. George¹.</p><p>"Ah, you've found one of Doyoung's many LGBTQ+ books," Johnny smiles.</p><p>"Yeah, I wonder if this means.." He trails off.</p><p>"That he likes guys?" Johnny wiggles his brows. </p><p>"Yeah," Taeyong says softly. He honestly had no idea. Doyoung could just be a supporter, which was amazing. Still, he hoped that it meant- wait, why was he thinking like this? Doyoung was just a friend of his, right?</p><p>"You okay?" Doyoung's voice now snapped Taeyong back to reality. Johnny was no longer standing beside him. "Any books catch your eyes?" </p><p>Though he really wanted to ask what the books meant, he turned to say, "Not real-"</p><p>Then, Taeyong almost passed out. Doyoung was standing there, in the doorway of his room, only in sweatpants and towel-drying his hair. </p><p>"Hmm?" Doyoung's eyes were all bright and innocent, completely unaware what he was doing to Taeyong. </p><p>"I was just admiring the color organization," Taeyong stammered. </p><p>"Thanks, I organized them myself. You can come into my room. It's a little rude to just leave you in the living room," Doyoung turned and walked back into his room.</p><p>Taeyong took his time to catch his breath. Everything was fine, Doyoung was just his friend, and he was totally perfectly not freaking out. </p><p>He walked into the room, very cautiously, and sat upright on Doyoung's bed. </p><p>Doyoung's. Bed. </p><p>Doyoung walked out of his bathroom and stood at his vanity for a moment, then turned to face Taeyong.</p><p>"It feels a little weird for you to sit like that on my bed. You look like a watch dog," Doyoung laughed, "Lay down, relax."</p><p>Doyoung turned back around, and Taeyong followed his instructions. Well, most of them. How the fuck was he supposed to relax? Nothing about this situation was relaxing. Taeyong is lying on his friend's bed, questioning his feelings for said friend, while the friend is next to him half naked! </p><p>Okay, okay calm down Taeyong. Just focus on something. Anything. </p><p>His dumb brain decided to focus on Doyoung's back. How broad his shoulders were, how his back led down to a pretty waist, the moles on Doyoung's back forming a constellation across his skin. You know, in a totally friendly way.</p><p>God, just put a shirt on. I can't think straight.</p><p>"What?" Doyoung turned to look at Taeyong.</p><p>Taeyong's face grew hot. "Nothing."</p><p>Doyoung sat on the bed. "No, what did you say?" </p><p>Taeyong pushed his body up so his back was against the wall. "I said nothing." </p><p>Taeyong wanted to disappear. He watched as Doyoung crawled up towards him. Doyoung hesitated a little, before continuing until he was literally sitting on Taeyong's lap. </p><p>Taeyong could barely breathe. The sight of Kim Doyoung, sitting there, beads of water still clung to his beautiful body. It was suffocating. </p><p>He felt Doyoung's hands push up under his shirt. He didn't know what to feel. It was so much, all at once. Doyoung leaned forward, and whispered into his ear, "Okay."</p><p>That was it. Before Taeyong could even register what was happening, Doyoung slid his hands away, slung himself off Taeyong's lap, and was standing upright. </p><p>As Doyoung grabbed a shirt from his draw and walked into his bathroom, all Taeyong could think about was the lingering warmth of Doyoung's hands on his waist.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>-Taeyong's Tips-</p><p>Feeling lonely? Single cause you "don't have time for a committed relationship"? Don't worry, same! I recommend sleeping with stuffed animals at night so you won't feel lonely. Don't worry, your RJ plushie will always be there :)</p><p>(1) On a different note, George is a book about a young transgender girl. It's a great LGBTQ+ book, so check it out if you want!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As Doyoung grabbed a shirt from his draw and walked into his bathroom, all Taeyong could think about was the lingering warmth of Doyoung's hands on his waist.</p><p>Did that just happen?</p><p>Taeyong felt like he was in a dream. He pinched his arm a little, just to make sure he wasn't.</p><p>He only now was able to scan the room. Doyoung's room was very minimalist. Most of the room was taken up by the bed, and the color theme was gray and white. The decorations consist mostly of plants and simple paintings. The vanity only had a few skincare products on it.</p><p>When Taeyong was done scanning the room, Doyoung walked back in, now fully clothed. </p><p>"Hey, listen, I'm sorry if I made you at all uncomfortable," Doyoung sat on the edge of the bed. </p><p>Taeyong looked at his fingers, unable to look up at him, "It's okay, I actually.."</p><p>Doyoung looked at him directly now. "Actually what?"</p><p>"...really liked it." Taeyong's voice was barely a whisper.</p><p>Doyoung smirked a little, "Okay, do you wanna stay for dinner?" </p><p>Taeyong's eyes grew big, "Is it that late?" He now looked at the clock, which read 8:39. </p><p>"Actually, I'm not really hungry. I'll just g-" Right then Taeyong's stomach growled. </p><p>Doyoung's eyebrow raised, "Is that so? Your stomach seems to have other plans."</p><p>Taeyong sighed, "I just don't want to intrude."</p><p>Doyoung smiled a little, "You aren't intruding. Now, come help me make dinner."</p><p>-zz..z..zz..-</p><p>"Oh, awesome! I love lasagna," Taeyong made some little happy noises, which made Doyoung feel better.</p><p>He really felt bad for doing that to Taeyong. He really shouldn't have done it, and he knew that.</p><p>Though, if he was being honest with himself, he didn't regret it.</p><p>"Doyoung?" </p><p>"Hm?" </p><p>"What can I do now?" Taeyong set down the wooden spoon he was using to stir the pasta.</p><p>"Oh, you can just shred the parmesan in the fridge," Doyoung lowered the heat a little, then continued to stir the sauce.</p><p>Did Taeyong really mean what he said? Was he just trying to make Doyoung happy? </p><p>He looked at Taeyong now. He didn't look upset, actually kinda happy. That was good, or at least Doyoung thought so.</p><p>Doyoung could no longer focus on Taeyong's face though. At some point, his eyes went down to Taeyong's hands, which were busily grating cheese. </p><p>He continued to stir the tomato sauce, while he stared at the beautiful veins running through Taeyong's hands.</p><p>"Doyoung, you really should focus on the sauce, and not Taeyong's hands." </p><p>Doyoung's face suddenly felt very hot.</p><p>"JOHNNY!"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>-Taeyong's Tips-</p><p>Have a partner who snores really loudly at night? A roommate who's loud with their partner? No problem! Invest in some earbuds! Or, just listen to some soothing music to help you sleep.</p><p>Sleep well, everyone! :]</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"JOHNNY!"</p><p>His roommate was standing there, arms up on the counter. </p><p>"Now you're redder than the sauce!" Johnny was laughing so hard he had to hold his stomach.</p><p>Doyoung was absolutely mortified.</p><p>"Can you just go wait in the living room? We're almost ready anyways," Taeyong looked very angry, but he didn't let it affect his voice.</p><p>Johnny put his hands up in surrender and left the room.</p><p>Taeyong now turned to Doyoung. "Are you okay?" </p><p>"Yeah, sure. Let's just finish this."</p><p>-zz..z...zz...zz-</p><p>Dinner was very awkward, to say the least.</p><p>Doyoung spent the whole time staring at his plate, while Taeyong communicated to Johnny with a series of facial expressions and hand gestures that if Johnny even breathed too loudly he would not hesitate to uppercut him.</p><p>After that, Doyoung and Taeyong just sat back on Doyoung's bed. </p><p>Taeyong looked at his watch, "It's already 11 PM, so Why don't we watch a movie and I can sleep on the couch or something?"</p><p>Doyoung shook his head. "Just share the bed with me. It's really big so we won't be crammed together." </p><p>Taeyong paused for a moment. He thought about early. Would something like that happen again? </p><p>"Okay," He said very quietly.</p><p>Doyoung then hopped out of the bed and grabbed his laptop from the bedside table. "You choose a movie. Here's some clothes to change into, I'm going to change in the bathroom."</p><p>With that, Taeyong was on his own. <br/>First, he changed into the clothes. It was a match set, all silky and thin-stripped. Doyoung may feel comfortable with people he barely just became friends with seeing him shirtless, but Taeyong, on the other hand, would probably throw up if someone saw him.</p><p>He then sat and scrolled through all the movies. He settled on some random romantic comedy. </p><p>Doyoung returned minutes later, still rubbing some moisturizer on his face. </p><p>"I never watch romantic comedies," Doyoung crawled into the bed next to Taeyong. </p><p>"Really? I like them because they're super generic so you don't feel bad about making fun of the plot," Taeyong then hit play.</p><p>"Yeah, and not paying attention is okay," Doyoung leaned his head onto Taeyong's shoulder. For the first time, Taeyong wasn't totally freaking out. Okay, his heart was beating fast but still he could enjoy the movie.</p><p>"How long have you and Johnny been friends?" Taeyong said after his heart had finally calmed down.</p><p>"Well, we have roomed since last year, so almost 2 years," Doyoung said in a half-sure tone. </p><p>"Cool, you guys seem close," Taeyong thought about when he walked in on them eating Chinese food.</p><p>"Yeah, I got him with his boyfriend, Jaehyun."</p><p>"Jaehyun? I know him!" Taeyong remembered him from the hospital. </p><p>"Really? How'd you meet him?" Doyoung didn't sound as excited as Taeyong.</p><p>"I bumped into him in the hospital," Taeyong said, "We talked for a few minutes."</p><p>"Cool, he's a lot of fun," Doyoung said, almost monotone.</p><p>Taeyong could smell some jealousy.</p><p>"He's not as fun as you, he probably never asks about someone's sleeping pattern," Taeyong laughed loudly. </p><p>Doyoung started to laugh too, "Hey, at least I don't stare at people in the park!" </p><p>And for the rest of the movie, they went about making wild accusations about the other and laughing.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>-Taeyong's Tips- </p><p>Don't like white noise? The sound of whales moaning not your thing? Try those sing you to sleep videos! You get some soft songs + a cute aesthetic boy.</p><p>Get some sleep, everyone!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warning: Depictions of violence and strangulation! There's breaks that show when it starts and ends, enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Doyoung felt strange upon waking up. <br/>Mainly because he was waking up, meaning he had to have fallen asleep.</p><p>Doyoung felt pretty sleepy still, and he hoped that he could melt back into his unconscious state, that the gray skies and the rolling thunder and the warm drizzles of rain would lull him. </p><p>He rolled over, away from the faint light coming in through his window, and curled his arms in and let his thoughts slow. He was almost asleep, when he felt himself being embraced.</p><p>"Are you awake?" Taeyong whispered. </p><p>"I was just about to fall asleep again," Doyoung mumbled quietly into Taeyong's chest.</p><p>"Go back to sleep," Taeyong gently moved the hair out of Doyoung's face.</p><p>Doyoung didn't say anything else, so Taeyong just played with his hair absentmindedly. It was a bit weird how not weird the situation was. Taeyong usually couldn't help but squirm at little affectionate actions, but this felt strangely normal. The air was warm and still around the two as Doyoung slept and Taeyong took it all in. </p><p>Then, a laugh. </p><p>A loud, bubbly laugh that pierced the warm, quiet atmosphere.</p><p>Luckily, it did not wake Doyoung, so Taeyong gently pulled his arms free and went to go investigate, making sure to close the door behind him so Doyoung wouldn't be disturbed.</p><p>He stood outside Johnny's bedroom, blasting music escaping it, along with the sound of voices. Taeyong knocked loudly.</p><p>"Doyoung?" The stranger at the door asked as he opened it. He wore a playful smile and thin-rimmed circular glasses. </p><p>"I'm not Doyoung, I'm his friend," Taeyong said with a small polite smile.</p><p>"Oh, I'm Mark! Doyoung and Johnny's friend!" Mark moved aside so Taeyong could step in. </p><p>"Are you kidding, you're my best friend!" Johnny said. He was busily putting some sort of makeup on his face. </p><p>This was the first time Taeyong had entered this room. It was a mess. There were about a billion clothes strung across the floor. Bright posters of artists Taeyong didn't recognize were all over the walls, and some cute fairy lights were strung above the unmade bed. </p><p>"I swear my room is not always this messy, it's just that Mark makes a mess everywhere he goes," Johnny laughed, then flopped onto his bed. It appears he had put some glitter on his face. </p><p>"Hyung, you're lying! Don't trust him, he's a liar!" Mark's eyes grew bigger and bigger while Johnny laughed at him.</p><p>"Johnny, you shouldn't be mean to Mark," Taeyong laughed softly.</p><p>"Hey, I like this guy! You wanna come to my party?" Mark beamed.</p><p>"What party?" Taeyong didn't talk to many people, so his knowledge of when events were happening was limited. </p><p>"The one Doyoung is supposed to be getting ready for, go get him up and ready and come up with us!" Johnny pushed him out of his messy room and shut the door with a thud.</p><p>-z..zz...zzz....z-</p><p>When Doyoung was awake again, Taeyong was lightly shaking him. </p><p>"Johnny told me we have a party to get ready for," Taeyong said quietly. </p><p>"Oh shit I forgot about that! What time is it?" Doyoung quickly got out of bed and went to get things out of his closet. </p><p>"Uh 8 PM, we slept through the entire day," Taeyong turned and watched Doyoung scramble. </p><p>"Here's some clothes, you change in here, I'll be in the bathroom," with that Doyoung practically ran into the bathroom. </p><p>The clothes were very nice. It was a simple koi fish print black button-up, and for he wore his own black cargo pants. The koi fish were simple outlines in a glittering silver.</p><p>Doyoung walked out of the bathroom, and he looked spectacular. He wore an elegant black silk jumpsuit with a shimmering jeweled belt. </p><p>"You look great!" Taeyong gave two thumbs up.</p><p>"Thank you, you look great too. Let's get you some jewelry," Doyoung quickly pulled some pieces. </p><p>They decided on some silver rings and a thin chain necklace. Doyoung also gave Taeyong his long black coat and insisted he wear black platform boots instead of his dirty running shoes. </p><p>After about 20 more minutes of arguing, Doyoung added some glitter to their faces, pulled on his black boots, and they were ready.</p><p>"Wow, you guys really went all out!" Mark exclaimed when they came out to the living room. Mark had on a glittering silver bomber jacket and a bright yellow tshirt. </p><p>"Yeah, you guys look like a couple!" Johnny smirked, wiggling his eyebrows. He wore a white tank top with a sheer white button-up over it.</p><p>"Let's just go, we're going to be late," Doyoung said.</p><p>-zz..z..z..zz..-</p><p>The party was pretty average.</p><p>Taeyong didn't realize it was a houseparty, so when they arrived it was very much packed, people were playing beer pong in the livingroom, some talking in the kitchen, majority were dancing on each other.</p><p>Taeyong decided to sit on the kitchen counter with his legs curled up to him and his back to the fridge. He occasionally watched very intoxicated couples drag each other to the upstairs bedrooms.</p><p>"You must really hate parties, huh?" Jaehyun pulled himself up onto the counter next to him. </p><p>"I was never much of a party person. I like small get-togethers and alcohol is really gross," Taeyong grabbed one of the forgotten bags of chips.</p><p>"Yeah, parties aren't really my thing either. Hanging out with people when they are barely aware of their surroundings isn't fun," Jaehyun said, grabbing a handful of chips.</p><p>They ate their chips silently, the heavy bass of the music bumping through their ears. </p><p>"Alright, I'm going to the bathroom," Taeyong said, then leaped off the counter.</p><p>He weaved in and out of people dancing and drunk couples making out till he reached the second floor. There were many doors going down the hallway. Taeyong saw a lot of things, a group playing strip poker, someone giving a person a bad tattoo, a bunch of dudes and Mark doing drugs. </p><p>"Mark!" Taeyong coughed. The room was filled with smoke. A bunch of people were smoking weed and there at a table Mark was snorting cocaine. </p><p>"Hyung," Mark slurred. He looked awful, he was sweaty from the queasy warmth of the room, and his eyes were half-closed. </p><p>"Mark, it's me. Let's get you out of here, you shouldn't be doing this stuff," Taeyong reached out to pull Mark up. </p><p>Mark smacked away his hands. "No! You know, I'm so tired of you trying to help me." </p><p>"What are you talking about?" Taeyong had literally met him that day.</p><p>"Always saying what's good for me, it's my life asshole, I know what I can handle," Mark stood up and started stumbling away. </p><p>"Mark, maybe you shouldn't move," Taeyong put a hand on Mark's shoulder.</p><p>-zz....zzz....violence!....zz...beware!...zz.-</p><p>"Don't fucking touch me!" Mark threw Taeyong into the table. </p><p>The wood broke under him, piercing Taeyong's whole body with pain. Mark got on top of him and started punching him.</p><p>"Why do you try so hard to help me?" A fist to his stomach.</p><p>"You think you're so perfect," A punch to the face.</p><p>"Perfect brother, the perfect example," His whole body being slammed into the floor.</p><p>"I fucking hate you!" Mark gripped Taeyong around his throat, then grabbed something.</p><p>"Let's see if you can take it," he took the cap off a bottle of pills. </p><p>Taeyong could barely breathe, he slapped and clawed Mark's arm, but he wouldn't lose his grip. Taeyong shut his mouth as tight as possible. Mark slapped his face. Again, again, again. Eventually Taeyong choked out for air, and Mark dumped the pills in. </p><p>Then, someone hit Mark in the face. They dragged him off of Taeyong, and Taeyong spat out the pills. </p><p>-zz....it's!..zz...done!...zz-</p><p>He gasped for air before coughing from all the smoke. He wheezed while acid crept up his throat. There was no way to keep it down, so he vomited, tears coming to his eyes from pain of his body clenching. His body curled up into a ball and he started shaking. The ceiling was bleary, slowing coming in and out. It felt like the world was falling apart.</p><p>Through tears, he saw a figure sat infront of him. </p><p>"Taeyong, can you see me?" </p><p>Taeyong shook his head hard. He squeezed his eyes shut. He didn't want to be hurt.</p><p>"Taeyong, I need you to look at me"</p><p>He opened his eyes slowly, the light a bit painful.</p><p>"Can you tell me my name?" </p><p>"Doyoung," Taeyong wheezed.</p><p>"That's right, can I pick you up?" Doyoung spoke very slowly and was calm.</p><p>"Mhm," Taeyong mumbled, more tears filling his eyes. "Get me out of here." </p><p>Taeyong felt a pair of arms lift him up. "It's gonna be okay, I'm going to get you out of here." </p><p>Taeyong nodded. He didn't look at Doyoung's face, just at the ceiling of the gross warm room with color-changing lights. It went blue, then red, and slowly, everything went to black.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"You could totally be a doctor," Taeyong said, in a certain way that Doyoung could tell he was just thinking out loud. </p><p>"I don't think good doctors need to go to the doctor constantly," Doyoung said, as he plucked a final shard of glass from Taeyong's back. Of course Taeyong was slammed into not only a wooden table, but one with several wine glasses on it. </p><p>"Hey, you haven't had to go in a while," Taeyong said.</p><p>That was true. Doyoung didn't know why, but he was actually able to fall asleep. He didn't understand it, but he definitely wasn't mad at it. </p><p>"Still, doesn't qualify me to be a doctor," Doyoung picked up a cotton ball covered in rubbing alcohol, "hold my hand, this is going to hurt." </p><p>Taeyong grabbed his hand. "Don't sell yourself SHORT!" He squeezed Doyoung's hand so hard he could've broken it. </p><p>Doyoung worked quickly to clean the cuts. "Okay, I'm done. I'm sorry that hurt." </p><p>Taeyong let out a controlled breath, "It's okay, it didn't even hurt." </p><p>Doyoung laughed a little. "Okay I need you to take your shirt off. </p><p>"Do you think I'm that easy? You're going to have to buy me dinner first, Kim Doyoung," Taeyong smirked. He was so nonchalant about everything, you could barely tell he was almost killed a few hours ago.</p><p>Doyoung rolled his eyes while Taeyong pulled off his shirt. His back had nothing more than small cuts from glass. </p><p>"Alright, turn."</p><p>When Doyoung saw the front, he audibly gasped. </p><p>"Is it that bad?" Taeyong had a concerned look on his face. </p><p>If Doyoung was being honest, he hadn't even begun to take in Taeyong's face when he got to him. He was mainly concerned with his back as it went first through the table, and how the fuck this could've happened. </p><p>He was talking to Jaehyun when it happened. </p><p>A stoned dude tumbled done the stares while shouting "Mark's trying to kill some kid!" </p><p>Immediately, Jaehyun and Doyoung ran up to see Mark trying to shove pills done Taeyong's throat. </p><p>Jaehyun ran over immediately and punched Mark in the face, and Doyoung got Taeyong out of there. </p><p>He thought about these events as he looked at Taeyong's injuries.</p><p>There was a massive bruise on Taeyong's stomach, which was already an ugly shade of purple. On his neck there was a splotchy blue bruise. His face got the worst of it. Taeyong's eye was swollen shut, a horrific mix of purples and blues and greens. His lip was busted and around his jaw was yellow and purple. There was also a bright red handprint on his cheek, just below his eye. </p><p>"Doyoung, you're crying," Taeyong rubbed his finger across Doyoung's cheek. </p><p>"I'm sorry. It's just, this is bringing up some really awful repressed memories," Doyoung grabbed an ointment from his first aid kit and started slathering it across Taeyong's bruises.</p><p>"Have you seen people get hurt because of addiction?" Taeyong said quietly. It was clear he was trying to be careful with what he said. </p><p>"Well, my dad had a really bad addiction to alcohol. He'd come home drunk, and I'd gotten some pretty nasty injuries cause of him," Doyoung quickly finished out tending to Taeyong's injuries.</p><p>"I'm sorry," Taeyong whispered, and Doyoung could see that in his eye. </p><p>"It's okay, it's time for you to rest," Doyoung said quietly. </p><p>-zz..zzz...z...zz-</p><p>It was strange how quickly days had passed. </p><p>Taeyong had reassured Doyoung that he was fine enough to go to classes, and that he could take care of himself. </p><p>Now, it had been about two weeks since he had seen Taeyong, and he didn't really know what to do with his life. </p><p>He had occupied his time with sitting in the corner of the coffee shop Johnny worked at, pretending he was doing important things when really he just listened to podcasts and doodled.</p><p>The worst part of all of this was that Johnny made him an errand boy, telling him to get milk and ice for the shop whenever he pleased. That meant he had to go to where Mark worked and awkwardly sit in silence while he got things.</p><p>During his walk to the store today, he saw Jaehyun.</p><p>"Hi Jaehyun."</p><p>"Hey, are you going to see Mark?" Jaehyun gestured to the store behind him.</p><p>"Well, I'm just running errands. I don't really plan on caring about his existence," Doyoung raised an eyebrow, "Why?"</p><p>"Just, can you please be nice to him? I need someone to let him know that people care about him. That I care about him," Jaehyun looked at his feet while he said this. </p><p>Doyoung was a little confused by his words, but he also could tell Mark meant a lot to Jaehyun. </p><p>"Okay."</p><p>-zz...zz...zzz..-</p><p>"Who's your brother?" Doyoung asked quietly.</p><p>Mark raised an eyebrow, and let out that weird sound he makes when confused (That "eugh?" sound). "What?" </p><p>"Taeyong told me, that when you were beating him up, you thought he was your brother. Who is he?" Doyoung had thought about this for weeks, and often it was what kept him up at night.</p><p>"Um, my brother is Jaehyun," Mark said as he put the bucket of ice on the counter. </p><p>Doyoung stopped in his tracks for a moment. "Really."</p><p>"Yeah, we never had a good relationship. I'm pretty sure he hates me," Mark frowned for a moment.</p><p>Doyoung grabbed the ice then turned to walk out. He paused. "He doesn't hate you." </p><p>"How would you know that?" Mark asked.</p><p>Doyoung turned to face him. "I've never met someone who talks about their brother more than Jaehyun. In fact, I've never had a conversation with him without him mentioning you. It doesn't matter how many horrible things you do, he'd still care for you. He doesn't stick around in your life because you make him feel better about himself, he's here because he actually truly cares for you. If I had someone like that in my life, I wouldn't take them for granted."</p><p>With that, he turned and walked out.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Taeyong woke up unable to breathe. </p><p>He hit at his chest, gasping and wheezing until he could breathe again. He couldn't see anything in the usually comforting darkness of his room. Now, with absolutely no explanation as to why he was just unable to breathe, it was terrifying. </p><p>He leaned over to click on his lamp, and he looked around his room. It was the same as always, but now it made Taeyong more worried. </p><p>There was no way he was going to stay here tonight, not with the high possiblity of dying. It was only 9 PM now, meaning he slept for about 6 minutes. </p><p>This has never happened to him before.</p><p>-zz...zzz...zz..-</p><p>Taeyong now sat on the park bench, watching his breath come out as clouds infront of him. </p><p>Thinking about this whole situation it reminded Taeyong of Doyoung. It had been on this same bench Doyoung asked him about his sleeping habits.</p><p>It was the strangest interaction Taeyong had ever had, but it was cute.</p><p>Now that he thought about it, Doyoung would be very helpful right now.</p><p>-zz..z...zzz..zz-</p><p>Doyoung was sitting on his couch, staring at the notes he was supposed to be studying. Johnny was on the other side of the couch, munching on some chips while watching some late night television.</p><p>Then, a very loud knock.</p><p>"Go get the door," Johnny said, waving a hand towards the general direction of the door. </p><p>"I'm already going," Doyoung muttered. It was one of those little pet peeves he had. Johnny always told him to do something while Doyoung was doing it. </p><p>When Doyoung opened the door, he saw Taeyong standing there, a small bag in his arms. </p><p>"Hi, can I come in?" Taeyong asked.</p><p>Doyoung moved aside, following behind Taeyong, stopping just outside his room to address Johnny's smirking face. </p><p>"Go to your room," Doyoung sighed, tired of Johnny's bullshit.</p><p>Apparently Johnny could see that Doyoung was done. "Okay, mom," Johnny rolled his eyes, pushing himself off the couch.</p><p>Doyoung was thankful for that painless interaction as he shut his door and turned to not see Taeyong anywhere in site.</p><p>"Taeyong?" </p><p>"In here!" Taeyong called.</p><p>Doyoung walked into his bathroom to see Taeyong pulling some products out of his bag.</p><p>"What is happening?" Doyoung asked.</p><p>"Oh right," Taeyong turned to Doyoung, "Can I please stay here tonight? I can't be alone." </p><p>Doyoung didn't need any more information. "Say no more."</p><p>-zz...zzz..z...z-</p><p>When Taeyong woke up, the first bit of sunlight peeked through the window. It was winter now, even though Taeyong could hardly believe it. Suddenly the ground became a blanket of white outside, and he had to start wearing his heavy overcoat to classes. </p><p>Which reminded him that he had class in 15 minutes.</p><p>-zz..zzz..zz...z-</p><p>The lecture finally ended, and Taeyong quickly started gathering his things, when his phone lit up. </p><p>One message from Jaehyun. "we broke up"</p><p>-zz..z...zz...zz-</p><p>"JOHNNY!" Is the first thing Taeyong yells as he barges into his room.</p><p>The room is empty. What's stranger, is that there is not a single shirt on the floor. Everything is in place.</p><p>"He left for winter break," Doyoung said. His body leant against the door frame.</p><p>"Damn it," Taeyong mumbled.</p><p>"Why is that a problem? We get the place for ourselves."</p><p>He felt a buzzing in his pocket. He pulled it out to see Jaehyun's name.</p><p>"Hold on Doyoung."</p><p>When he answers, he heard faint sniffling. </p><p>"Jaehyun?" </p><p>Jaehyun's reply comes in very faint. "Yeah?"</p><p>"Are you okay?"</p><p>"No, not really. I just wanted to not be alone right now."</p><p>"Do you want me to come over?"</p><p>"Come over? Who are you talking to?" Doyoung whispers sharply.</p><p>Taeyong moved his hand over his phone. "Be quiet, I can't hear." He moved it again and says "Sorry, can you repeat that?"</p><p>"No, I don't want to see anyone."</p><p>A few minutes passed in quiet, besides Jaehyun's sniffling. </p><p>"So, what exactly happened?"</p><p>"He found out that Mark and I were siblings. He said he couldn't believe I lied to him, and that he can't trust me."</p><p>"Wait, Mark's your brother? Why did you not tell him that?"</p><p>"Mark has always been embarrassed of me. He told me to never tell anyone, but for some reason he told Johnny."</p><p>"What would cause him to do that?" </p><p>"I don't know, but it'd have to be something big."</p><p>After a couple more minutes of making sure Jaehyun was okay, Taeyong hung up. He sat on the couch and questioned what would cause this.</p><p>Something major..</p><p>"Taeyong! You still haven't told me what happened!"</p><p>Taeyong stared at the glass table infront of him for a moment. </p><p>"Taeyong!"</p><p>Something significant. The end string that unravels the yarn. He was it. Mark told him because of that night of the party. It was him. </p><p>The world began to swim in waves. Suddenly it felt like everything was attacking him now, pointing at him and saying "You ruined everything."</p><p>"Taey-"</p><p>"JUST SHUT UP," he boomed, clenching his fists, which were shaking rapidly.</p><p>Doyoung went silent for a moment. "What did you just say to me?"</p><p>Taeyong's fists unclenched, and he was left weak. "I-I-"</p><p>"You what? You think you can just barge into my place and yell in my face? This is not your fucking hotel, and I will not let you speak to me like that."</p><p>Taeyong couldn't speak. His lips were shaking and his mouth felt like it was bolted shut.</p><p>"You really can't apologize? Unbelievable, you're sleeping in Johnny's room." </p><p>Doyoung walked quickly to his room, gathering Taeyong's things. He walked back to him and put the bag in his hands. </p><p>"Enjoy your stay," Doyoung fake smiled, then walked back to his room, slamming his door so hard it shook in it's frame.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello everyone ! I'm sorry that it's been a while, but I have recently gotten back into school and it's taken up a lot of my time. Currently, I have no power due to Hurricane Laura (I'm not even sure this will post). I am working hard to bring you all the rest of the story ! </p><p>Have a nice day :]</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It didn't take long for Taeyong to fall apart.</p><p>He sat frozen still on Johnny's bed, only lifting his hand occasionally to muffle his sobs. His head pounded with heavy thuds of guilt, and played the same broken record that forever told him everything was his fault. He had been in the wrong place at the wrong time.</p><p>And because of this, he lost what mattered most.</p><p>-zz...zzz...z..zz-</p><p>Doyoung trudged through the snow, his footsteps making loud crunches with every step. </p><p>He had to leave. Being in his place would've just made him even more angry. </p><p>The conversation played over and over in his head. Taeyong had actually screamed in his face.</p><p>He sat down on a bench. The cold bit at his legs through his jeans, but he didn't notice it. </p><p>He couldn't believe it. This is the first time they ever fought. Now, it was probably the last time, too. There was no way Taeyong would forgive him.</p><p>Why should he be looking for Taeyong's forgiveness? He was the one in the wrong! </p><p>But... he did look like he was overwhelmed. Doyoung probably made it worse by bombarding him! He'd be frustrated if he was Taeyong!</p><p>Doyoung sighed, his breath a white cloud infront of him. He put his face in his hands.</p><p>"He loved this spot."</p><p>When Doyoung looked up, he didn't recognize the person infront of him. He had black hair and eyes like a puppy.</p><p>"Who did?" He asked.</p><p>"Taeyong," The stranger slowly sat next to him, his eyes with a warm glow and his smile kind. "I'm Jungwoo, by the way."</p><p>Doyoung must've been thinking out loud. He looked around. He didn't even realize, but he was sitting right where he was when he first met Taeyong. The park was difficult to recognize now with it's white blanket.</p><p>"Hey, are you okay? You're crying," Jungwoo's eyebrows pressed together in concern.</p><p>Doyoung quickly wiped a cold hand across his face. He couldn't feel the tears, but they were dripping like candle wax. </p><p>"I'm sorry, I just got into a fight with him actually, and I ruined everything," He couldn't hold back his tears now, and began to full-on weep.</p><p>Jungwoo pulled some spare mittens out of his coat pocket and pushed them onto Doyoung's hands. </p><p>"It's gonna be okay," He rubbed Doyoung's back gently.</p><p>"How could you possibly know that?" Doyoung sniffled.</p><p>"Well, a long time ago, I dated Taeyong, too. I ended up breaking his heart. But you know what happened? He forgave me, and we're still friends," Jungwoo smiled brightly.</p><p>"We're just friends, so there's no downgrading there," Doyoung frowned.</p><p>Jungwoo laughed, all breathy and beautiful. In Doyoung's eyes, it was no surprise that he dated Taeyong. Two perfect pretty people.</p><p>"Taeyong is a good person. He knows how to forgive. You just have to be ready to move on, and he will be right there with you," Jungwoo stood up.</p><p>"Oh, and you two would look great together, Doyoung," He said, then turned and walked away.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>-Taeyong's Tips-</p><p>Lack of power has you sweating to death ? Don't worry  ! Stress balls, the ones with like slime or orbeez, are actually very cool. Snuggle up with them and not your blankets, and you'll be good to go. (Yes, this is something I discovered while I have no power.)</p><p>Rest well everyone :]</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is a side chapter for Johnny and Jaehyun. Also, this chapter is highly influenced by I'll Give You The Sun! Sorry if you don't like the ~colorful~ writing, but you don't have to read it !</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Are you okay sweetie? You barely touched your drink."</p><p>Johnny stared at the marshmallows that were drowning in his powdery hot chocolate. </p><p>"I'm not very thirsty," Johnny smiled. That was a lie. His throat was so dry if he talked too much sand would pour out onto the table.</p><p>The waitress quickly cleared the little marshmallow grave from Johnny's sight. He put a couple bills on the table and stood and walked out. </p><p>When he got into his hotel room, he stood infront of the mirror. When did his under eyes get so dark? He looked like he hadn't slept in years.</p><p>It certainly felt that way. The last few days his concious has been shut off, going about the world on autopilot. There was no point in being there, his world was cold and gray.</p><p>He slid into the hotel bed, which was stiff and uncomfortable. He pulled the sheets around him, hoping that he'd disappear in them and appear somewhere better.</p><p>As he drifted into a state of half-asleep, something in him slipped into place, like a broken clock inside him started ticking again. A deep and sharp twang of pain circuited through him. </p><p>He missed Jaehyun. So much. </p><p>The gray room swirled with a horrifyingly deep blue so deep you could drown in it. The colors waltzed and spun around the room, a magnificent sight, that at the same time pulled tears from Johnny's frozen-in-time eyes. He tangled himself up in sheets more as the tears dripped then drizzled then poured, the occasional blink causing a ripple in the ocean that was spilt across the bedroom floor. </p><p>Why? Why did he miss Jaehyun? He lied to Johnny! He would've never lied to Jaehyun!</p><p>The room suddenly burst into flames, bright red flames roaring. They glowed with a powerful presence that even calmed the ocean waves. The flames stuck out their bright red tongue out at the ocean, and marched and stomped about.</p><p>Johnny pulled a pillow over his face and let out a muffled scream. </p><p>Then, a small ding.</p><p>Jaehyun: coming to you hotel room in 15, we need to talk</p><p>The whole world burst into a thousand colors at once. Yellows leaped and soared, arms stretched for the sky. Pinks extinguished the red flames. Green, oh the green! It danced in the middle of the room all alone, eventually pulling Johnny to his feet. He danced with all the colors at once. </p><p>Then a knock. The colors hid under the bed and in the closet, leaving Johnny with Jaehyun.</p><p>"Hi," Johnny said, a little breathless.</p><p>"Mark didn't want me to tell you we were siblings," Jaehyun said, straight to the point as he usually was.</p><p>"What?" Johnny said.</p><p>"Mark told me not to tell anyone that we were siblings. I was just doing what he asked of me. I'm sorry that it hurt you, but I didn't want to upset Mark, and it really hurt me to keep it from you," Jaehyun said, only looking up to meet Johnny's eyes afterwards.</p><p>Johnny pulled Jaehyun into the room, closed the door, and kissed him against it, feeling the warmth return to his whole body again.</p><p>"Guess I'm forgiven," Jaehyun says breathlessly after they pull away for air.</p><p>And Johnny laughed, feeling all the colors at once.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>One more side chapter :], but it's a little more casual than the last one !</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The lasts rays of golden hour made their way across the freshly washed tiled floor of the mart.</p><p>Mark sighed, drinking the last bit of his coke. If only it were the real thing. He went cold turkey soon after the party.</p><p>That night was a blur, bits and pieces coming back only when Jaehyun told him in the morning. </p><p>Mark almost killed Taeyong because he thought he was Jaehyun.</p><p>He was working through his issues now with an off-campus psychiatrist, who reassured him that he wasn't just straight up psycho. He just needed some help.</p><p>Mark stared out the window, wishing he could be anywhere else, then noticed a student outside in the snow.</p><p>He was staring straight up at the sky, smiling as a couple snowflakes fell onto his cheeks. Then, still smiling, he walked into the mart.</p><p>"Hi, is there a bathroom here?" The student smiled, stomping some of the melting snow off his shoes. </p><p>"Yeah, just be careful, I just mopped-" </p><p>The student took one step and began sliding, his arms reach out but fail to grab anything, and he hits the ground hard. </p><p>Mark leans over the counter to look at him, sprawled out on the floor and writhing in pain. "Are you okay man?"</p><p>"Yeah," he replied faintly, trying to grab the counter to stand but slips.</p><p>Mark reached out and grabbed his upper arms, placing his elbows on the slipping student's hands, holding him until he gains balance. </p><p>"Thank you... I don't know your name," He laughed a little, tilting his head.</p><p>"Uh, it's Mark," Mark smiled. He realized he's still holding his surprisingly muscular arms. He slides his hands away.</p><p>"I'm Jungwoo," Jungwoo said, moving to stand upright.</p><p>"The bathroom you're looking for is over there, around the corner," Mark smiled. </p><p>"Uh, thank you," Jungwoo said quietly, and quickly goes towards the bathrooms. Mark thought he saw his face growing a red hue. </p><p>Mark watches Jungwoo exit the bathroom, walk through the aisles, picking up a few items, before coming to the register to pay.</p><p>Mark quickly scanned Jungwoo's little microwave dinner and soda. </p><p>"Can you heat it up for me? I'm going to eat in here," Jungwoo asked.</p><p>"Yeah for sure," Mark quickly put it in for 4 minutes. </p><p>After Jungwoo pays, there's still 3 and a half minutes on the food. </p><p>"I've literally never seen you before. Are you new here or something?" Mark says, breaking the silent atmosphere.</p><p>"Um no, you actually sit next to me for a class," Jungwoo smiled.</p><p>"Really? Dude, I don't believe you, I would remember someone as pretty as you," Mark says without thinking. </p><p>Jungwoo blinked, then his eyes widen as his face slowly turns a bright red. Mark feels his face start to burn too.</p><p>"Sorry. I don't know why I said that, that was super weird," Mark wanted to crawl into the supplies closet and die.</p><p>Just then Mark's saved by the bell. Well, not a bell, but the microwave's usually annoying beep. He quickly opened it and hands Jungwoo his food. </p><p>Jungwoo doesn't say anything thankfully, and just goes to the counter by the window to eat.</p><p>-zz..z...zz...zz- </p><p>It felt like it took twenty years for Jungwoo to leave the mart. He didn't even acknowledge Mark's existence as he left, and it kinda hurt.</p><p>Mark walked over to the empty plastic container that was once filled with Jungwoo's meal. He picked it up, feeling something sticky under it. He dropped the container into the garbage, but a piece of paper stuck to him. He almost threw it away, but then he noticed writing in neatly scrawled letters. </p><p>Under a number, there was a note. </p><p>"I think you're really cute, but I've been too shy to talk to you. Let's hang out some time :] -Jungwoo"</p><p>Mark slipped the note into his back pocket, smirking a little.</p><p>Damn, even his hand-writing's pretty.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Taeyong's body was shaking under the shimmering moon. He hadn't been able to sleep for the past three days. There was nothing on the internet to help him figure it out, so he spent his extra hours crying and shaking.</p><p>He was long past crying over his guilt, though it was as prominent as ever. Now, he was crying over Doyoung. He wondered if he could here him now, just some feet away, sobbing and falling apart over him. </p><p>-zz..z...zz...zz- </p><p>Doyoung was in his room, unable to sleep as well. For the past 3 days, he has spent his time crying and unable to breath. He wasn't angry anymore. He just wanted Taeyong to lie between his arms once more. </p><p>"You just have to be ready to move on"</p><p>Doyoung was ready to move on. He walked to his door, and opened it. It felt like his world was going in slow motion, as he stepped out towards Johnny's room. One step after the other, then, a collision.</p><p>-zz..z...zz...zz- </p><p>The two almost fall to the floor as they knock into each other.</p><p>"Ow," Doyoung said, "Uh, hi. Yeah, I need to talk to you-"</p><p>Suddenly, Doyoung felt a shaky frame wrapped around him. </p><p>"You don't know how much I missed you. That was the worst pain I've ever felt," Taeyong's muffled voice says.</p><p>Tears have been spilling for the past 3 days, but even now Doyoung feels them drip down his face. </p><p>"I missed you too. I'm sorry I put you through that. I was stupid. I love you," Doyoung says, then rests his head on Taeyong's shoulder.</p><p>Taeyong's head shoots up now. "Did I hear you right?" </p><p>Doyoung freezes, but only for a moment, before picking up his head to look at the general area where he thinks Taeyong's eyes are because of the pitch black room. </p><p>"I love you Lee Taeyong. I know that I sound crazy, and that it might make things awkward between us-" </p><p>Taeyong lips are touching his suddenly. It feels like electricity runs through them at that moment. They kiss like it's the end of the world, hands moving everywhere. They move about passionately, like they're desperate for each other, and they are.</p><p>They break away for gasps of air, the atmosphere warm and comfortable around them.</p><p>"I love you too, Kim Doyoung."</p><p>Doyoung grasped Taeyong's hand and led him into his room, where they layed together. Taeyong, in Doyoung's arms once again. </p><p>The moonlight swam across the floorboards, and across the lovers, now sound asleep.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>-Taeyong's Tips-</p><p>Lying awake thinking about that special someone? They're thinking about you too :]</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Epilogue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Taeyong tapped his foot anxiously while he stared out the window. He was waiting for Mark to join him for coffee.</p><p>It had been a year since the night Mark fought him. They never talked in the time between then and now. Taeyong never knew why that night happened, and today he was going to find out.</p><p>He saw Mark's figure slide through the cafe door, and he sat up a little straighter, trying to calm his nerves with a sip of his drink.</p><p>"Hey," Mark said as he slid into the other side of the booth.</p><p>"Hi, it's nice to see you again," Taeyong smiled.</p><p>"Yeah, I was really surprised when you asked to meet up, but I'm glad we can talk about it," Mark said, folding his hands together.</p><p>"Me too. I just wanted to know what happened to you during that time," Taeyong said, a little nervousness appearing in his voice.</p><p>Mark paused for a moment, as if to consider how he should begin. "Well, I was battling a drug addiction during that time, and I didn't tell anyone. I felt like I couldn't rely on anyone. After that night, I stopped completely and have been clean year."</p><p>"That's crazy, I'm sorry things were so hard for you," Taeyong said, eyes big with sympathy.</p><p>"You're sorry? Dude, I threw you through a table, I'm the one that should be apologizing!" Mark said, pointing a finger at himself.</p><p>"It's okay, you didn't do it with the intent of hurting me," Taeyong laughed.</p><p>"Yeah, but I did hurt you. At the time, I held a lot of hatred towards Jaehyun. My parents never failed to remind me how much better he was than me, and it really messed me up," Mark said, looking out the window.</p><p>"Are you two okay now?" Taeyong asked.</p><p>"Yeah, we're really close. It took me a long time to understand that I shouldn't blame him for the pressure my parents put on me, but I had some good people by my side who helped," Mark smiled.</p><p>"Really? Who?" Taeyong leaned forward. He had a tendency to be nosy.</p><p>"Well, for one, I had my therapist, who I still go to. She's fantastic. And my boyfriend, Jungwoo," Mark's smile grew bigger when he said his name.</p><p>Taeyong almost choked on his drink. "You're dating Jungwoo?"</p><p>"Yeah, you know him?" Mark asked.</p><p>"Yes, we're friends! I dated him a really long time ago," Taeyong exclaimed, eyes wide like a puppy.</p><p>"Woah, that's pretty crazy!" Mark said, putting a hand over his mouth.</p><p>"No wonder he cancels plans so much, he's ditching for you!" Taeyong laughed.</p><p>Mark laughed with him. "So anyways, how are you and Doyoung doing?" </p><p>"We're really good right now," Taeyong smiled. It was a long road for them to get there, but they were now inseparable.</p><p>"That's awesome! Johnny told me he moved out because you guys were so lovey dovey that it made him sick," Mark laughed.</p><p>"Really? Because if anyone was being lovey dovey, it was him and Jaehyun," Taeyong said. They got back together, and it was no surprise to Taeyong when they told him.</p><p>"Didn't they move in together?" Mark asked.</p><p>"Yeah, they moved into where I used to live. A little cramped for two people, but they're basically on top of each all the time anyways," Taeyong rolled his eyes.</p><p>Mark and Taeyong started laughing loudly at this, causing people to side-eye them, but they really didn't care.</p><p>-zz..z...zz...zz- </p><p>Taeyong flopped into bed right next to Doyoung, who kisses him on the forehead.</p><p>"You know, Mark is so nice," Taeyong said, scooting till he sat upright.</p><p>"Oh yeah? How is he these days?" Doyoung asked, turning his attention back to his book.</p><p>"He's doing good, and he's dating Jungwoo!" Taeyong exclaimed.</p><p>"Really?" Doyoung said, turning a page. He was friends with Jungwoo now, but they never did tell Taeyong how he was the savior of their relationship.</p><p>"Yeah, and Mark told me about how they met, it was like a movie! Mark caught Jungwoo while he was falling, I mean they literally fell for each other," Taeyong smiled, clasping his hands together.</p><p>"So romantic," Doyoung muttered sarcastically.</p><p>"Oh you can't say nothing! 'How do you sleep?' Aren't you charming," Taeyong said, perfectly mocking Doyoung.</p><p>Doyoung put his book away, then pulled Taeyong into his arms. "You were madly in love with me the moment you saw me." </p><p>Taeyong pecked his boyfriend's cheek. "And I still am." </p><p>They stayed like that, Taeyong between Doyoung's arms, side by side, as they slowly drifted off to sleep.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Wow, I can't believe it. We've reached the end of the story. Thank you so much to everyone who's supported this story ! Thank you beautiful reader for reading :]</p><p>Rest well everyone ~</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>-Taeyong's Tips- </p><p>Music and podcasts keep your brain too awake when trying to sleep? Try meditation! It's a great way to center yourself and get some sleep. </p><p>Get some rest everyone !</p></blockquote></div></div>
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